catatan sebentar

MUNGKIN aku dapat berbicara jika tiada lain yang melihatnya. Besar kemungkinan ia menghala kebosanan, biarpun ia sesuatu yang aku cuba hindarkan. Kesimpulannya, tiada lagi helaian yang dapat diselak kerana halamannya kosong demi kosong.

Palitkan warna, biar ceria, aku akan ketawa sebagaimana yang lain ketawa. Namun, adakah ia sama? ataupun cerita ini akan berulang demi berulang, beza perkataan yang bertukar. Jelas sekali, pengertiannya menjadi lebih rumit. Persepsi itu tidak dapat berdiri lagi dengan sendiri, sebaliknya ukuran itu menjadi lebih tinggi demi tinggi.

Kesaksian ini adalah keceramukan sempit dalam kedinginan. Mirip lembah yang sepi, kontang terlanjang kepada angin yang menggigit. Tiada tumbuhan yang mungkin berani menjengah, kerana mereka takut. Lapangan itu terlalu luas buat keberangkalian yang bukan biasa diduga. Ia tehampar begitu sahaja, lembut dicakar sunyi.

Kisah yang disebutkan tidak patutnya mengenai serah diri. Andai dinding itu dapat dipecahkan abstraknya, mungkin ia dapat menjadi normal, sama seperti lain. Kekalutan ini pun adalah disebabkan diri ini, yang tidak tahu namun ingin tahu. Ia bukan kompleks. Masa yang sama, Ia juga bukan ringkas. Ia cuma ingin berteman.

take the cigarette but not the coffee

Is there space for me? somewhere in that sofa, sitting beside can actually make comfy, trust me, when we try to think too much, it just doesn't make sense, let just sit, let us sit here all day long, is it okay? it's not... alright, tell me and i'm listening,... ehm... aha.. yes... ehem... wait a minute, you do have the most beautiful eye... and those hair, your surely know your style.. do you feel cold? it's kinda strange, me and you, and it is still freezing, hold on, let me get you a coffee, yes, i do think the place have that beans from brazil,... and here you are and where were we just now.. oh yes, about them, i'm thinking about getting some guns and shot them dead in the head, maybe i can can get some gangsta rappers helping me clear those bodies, than i'm gonna shoot myself... i'm serious, nahhh, i couldn't pull the trigger. I don't know dear, in talking about them, sometimes people ain't what it should seems, take me for example, do you know that there's a song that kept on repeating 'tomorrow always come when it's too late', it's bugging me like hell, but i do kinda feel relieved about the chorus 'tomorrow is another day'. I'm sorry, it's like we are talking more about me than you, but the thing is, it does about us, i want to see your smile like sun shines, take you for a walk, and talk, lot's of talk before we go to do some handycraft, maybe later on, we can do some traveling, i don't want to get you bored with the book i'm reading. Deep down inside dear, i felt lost, i'm trap, and i'm afraid of tomorow without you, it's hard because i don't know to whom i want to buy chocolate and flowers, even worst, i can't look beneath subject if i didn't converse with you, i'm really a wood without your compassion guiding my hand and i kept on hitting ground because i can't feel true joy without you. The past hits really hard for both us, but if you want to know what's in my heart, it's always you, and it always do... are you yawning?... don't tell me you are getting sleepy on this, okay, okay, i'm listening.. aha... ehem.. yes.... erm... you do have the most lovely lips...