noted

Everyone gots a demon. It's all around us. This evil being kept telling lies so that we can never get out from any hole. There are many kinds of reason that can trigger. Frustation is one of it. While, boredom is a great catalyst. Living in delay is also another hell. I guess I lack of soul. And then, there's the damage. The thing that you are ashamed but you are trap because it's in the present. I have problem in making good decision. My instinct is working against me. I don't want to admit that i'm a failure, just another bump lying on the street. I'm not that numb. There's pressure all around and i feel tired. And so, i'm advising myself in this writing. Wake up early, my dear friend. Let the morning hope brings another new world. Don't be afraid of tomorow, it's something you got to embrace. Be good to everybody, especially to yourself. Remember, there is this life, and another life when you are dead. Don't let it become a waste. There's continuity in every moment. A thread being sewed in every minute, in every moment. Plan well and kept on going. Frustation is a another perception. Hardship is what brings a man to a journey that he will be remembered. Get in healthy life and healthy thoughts. Misery is momentary, open your eyes and open your imagination. Don't give up, get through it, and please read everything you come across, insyaallah, everything will be allright. take care, and pleasant dreams.

choke

I'm sorry but i can't make up my mind. I don't know whether i'm comfortable in isolation (which is the state i'm being) or being in cramp pack places (which i've been in the past and would be in the future). The thought of not having someone to talk to is tiring. What is more scary is that i always find myself being lost whenever i'm alone. The simple way of describing is like when i'm alone, i don't sense any gravity to glue me to earth. A lost soul wondering without any purpose. However, in crowded places, i never really like any attention. I like to play tricks on being invisible. Weird, but i like hiding among the crowd.

Most probably, the cause of all this conflict is that i don't have any purpose. There are some nice wishes but i don't really think it would come around. I'm so tired from having my hopes high that i'm ended under a deep hole. Most of the time, i would say to myself that it will be okay. I kept on being nice but right now, sloath is tangling around me. Whenever the clock is moving, i would say to myself, when would all this end. and Whenever i wake up from my sleep, i do sense that my body is moving but i think my soul is still left in the bed

But not everything is bad. Every evening i went back to my house and pick up any interesting movie to watch or let myself float in any book i'm reading. I had to really on other reality to get away from my true reality, which could be a location from a murder scene, yup, that is my house. It is facsinating. Living in all this irony which doesn't bring any proper meaning. I'm too tired actually. All i want is a peaceful mind and a good life to live on. Cheers.