de ej of inersen

Sometimes, when i take a walk around the town, the dream of owning a book-coffee shop surely visit. Operating that kind of business would surely be a big step in my life, even right now, I don't know if I'm really good at it. I know one thing, i'm not that very good at routine. That's the reason why i hated waking up for school. But other than that, i love all the experience that i got from it.

Right now, my company is doing its big shuffles among the staff. The problem is that they like to do it very often. They don't need even a year to transfer someone. It doesn't have any formula, the top guys just shuffle it like we are poker cards. I don't know what is my fate, it's always unpredictable. I wonder if they have bureau at the artic, they also wouldn't hesitate to shuffle mens over there. This shuffle thing is not something to be argued, either you obey or get lost.

Because of this reason, i never let myself too complecent at JB. I'm here as a stranger and forever I will be it. Like many other places in this world, JB does have it excitements but it also have it shits, plus the cost of living is quite high. and another thing, everyone over here just always fancied about Singapore. Therefore, there are no reason why i should be romantic about it. As long as i can do my job, that is who i am.

Do I love my job.. hmmm... that's a though question. I guess a job is always a job. I observe that all of my officemates have their own reason to work at the company. Beside it is something they are really good at, it maybe because of the money for the family. A good wage is hard to earn especially for the semi-profesional like us. I just can't push my luck like my younger days.

The time of dreaming had passed. It's the moment of riding the waves and I must be very careful about it. One mistake and it surely cost a lifetime. I learn about it the hard way, i guess, that's why in these times, you just see me as a cool blooded person. I remember that I can be someone who is really stupid and I really don't want to be in that position again.

In so, what is going to happen next? It seems that is always question and more question. Have I answered it all? I just let the journey tells it. Who knows, maybe one day, i might settle down and open that book-coffee shop. It's a nice dream that i've kept all this time. It doesn't have any politics. And I don't have to think about all those shuffling crap. I just focus on making my customers happy and the bussines runs well. hmmmmm.. I know it's a denial from what i'm living right now, but then, what better things I should think about. Now you tell me.

omay

'sok, bday alang. bc la yasin 4 alang,'

I got that sms from my little sister yesterday. It does make me silence for a while. I think it's nice for her to remind me about it. Although arwah alang is no longer with us, i do feel her presence in the family... and we all, still misses her

talking about it

love is always a good reason. it gives meaning to whatever it touches. It also gives soul throughout any journey you take. In other words, love is not just for poets, it's for everyone.
However, love also have its' nonsenses. I'm not in the mood of stating it here, but you know what i mean if you ever been in love. Most of the time, i told other people that i don't want to think about it, but i lied, a heart is not a rock, and no man is an island.

Talking about the mystery of love, i'm still in the research and development department about it. I'm not talking this matter on subject of adam and eve only, but more of love as a whole. I always like people that are passionate in whatever they are doing. It is because it shows that they have a big heart in them, and that heart is feel with love. One thing i observe, people that are filled with love, doesn't really talk bullshit. They are talking real things but maybe there's a slight problem in circumstances and character department.

Why am i writing this matter? I don't know. I want to talk to someone about it but I don't think there's anybody around me shared that same thinking. It's always me and the wall. But then, the wall doesn't talk back, it just keep on staring. I maybe should talk with the plants more often, at least i know they need some sunshine, water and care. good night and sleep tight.

mengalirnya sungai kopi

Agak sukar rasanya berada di persimpangan, aku tidak dapat memberi nasihat kepada sesiapa pun. Tidak kepada kawan-kawan aku. Tidak juga kepada keluarga aku. Memang banyak orang yang melalui relung kehidupan ini, namun aku hanya dapat melihat sahaja. Mereka membuat keputusan begitu atas apa mereka fikirkan dan siapa pula aku untuk memadai memberitahu, walhal aku sendiri tersangkut dalam pertembungan jalan ini.

Lewat kini, aku banyak mendiamkan diri. Pemikiran aku sarat dengan falsafah yang bila-bila boleh dicampakkan ke tong sampah. Aku tidak mahu terbabit dalam realiti. Ia menyakitkan lagi membosankan. Aku cuma mahu kopi dan sebatang rokok yang menyala. Biarkan aku tenggelam dalam pemikiran, sama ada ia akan terjadi atau tidak.

How Do You Keep The Music Playing

by James Ingram

How do you keep the music playing?
How do you make it last?
How do you keep the song from fading too fast?

How do you lose yourself to someone?
And never lose your ways
How do you not run out of new things to say?

And since we're always changing
How can it be the same?
And tell me how year after year
You're sure your heart will fall apart

Each time you hear his name
I know the way I feel for you
It's now or never
The more I love the more that i'm afraid
That in your eyes I may not see forever..
Forever...

If we can be the best of lovers
Yet be the best of friends
If we can try with everyday to make it better as it grows
With any luck, then I suppose
The music never ends

I know the way I feel for you
It's now or never!
(How do you keep the music playing?)
The more I love the more that I'm afraid
(How do you make it last)
That in your eyes I may not see forever
Forever...
(How do you keep the song from fading, keep the song from fading too fast)
If we can be the best of lovers
Yet be the best of friends
If we can try with everyday to make it better as it grows
With any luck, then I suppose
The music never ends

*Despite all the raya mood surrounding, things are not really smooth over here. That's why you see at out of all people, i'm playing James Ingram to smooths thing around. Sometimes i just can't stand songs that makes me wanna kill myself. That's all.

selamat hari raya buat a'wa'k di sana

Kelakar rasanya, apabila aku pulang ke kampung untuk mendapati salah seorang anak saudara aku, humairah, yang berumur empat tahun begitu takut pada aku. Adakah dia mengetahui betapa jauhnya aku berubah? Setiap kali aku cuba mendekatinya, dia akan berlari ke belakang ibu bapanya. Aku pernah cuba memberinya agar-agar, kesudahannya dia berlari menyembunyikan diri dalam almari. Untuk merapatkan diri antara aku dengan dia, aku membeli bunga api di pasar ramadan. Aku tidak tahu sama ada dia masih takut pada aku atau tidak, tapi aku tahu dia begitu bergembira bermain bunga api bersama kakaknya tadi.

*ps : maaf zahir batin dan jaga diri baik-baik