Isn't it sad. I can't move on. When I saw her picture, my heart melts. Is like that all this time i've been lying to myself by not saying i miss her. I do miss her. I do miss the old good time when we spend time together. At that time, it's like we have the same mind and everything went so smooth. But this is not a happily ever after story.
We've gone through fights, break-up, separation, confrontation, hate and all this until we reach at one point, we began to question, why are we still here? and so, we choose not to be together. The funny part, there is no objection from the family. There is no status or money conflict. There is no third person came and ruining everything. Actually the person that make everything didn't happen is she and me.
We all have our own reason. That's the same with she and me. We have our dreams but it just didn't happen in the snap of the finger. Time is vital. I don't see that we could face it. In the end, both of us can't control our own self from hurting each other.
I want to give her trust. but i'm not innocent anymore. There's nothing in me that is interesting. She hates me. It will always kept inside. and it come out at time i didn't expected. I know that she didn't meant it. She loves me too. But once you're betrayed, there isn't trust anymore.
Can we both change? It takes time and it also needs gods willing. I don't see how this could happen at this time. Both of us are survivor from a perished ship. We are lost and yet there is no place we can turn to. We need each other but we can't be together. The feeling is no longer the same. If only i could turn back time and start it all over.
I would like show her the new world. The right path where we can be together. It's true that the world is corrupt, evil and cruel but we don't have to be like them. I would show her what is love from my perspective. The things that we can enjoy, the things that we can share and the thing we shouldn't do. Sadly, dream will always be a dream. She is like a princess. Everyone loves her. How could this frog meant anyting? Can i be with her? I don't know. but i do know, i miss her.
